A Theory
by
Dr.
Austin Kutscher
Founder of the Foundation of Thanatology
Concerning
the :
-
BEREAVED
TO BE
-
ANTICIPATORY
GRIEVERS
-
"FAMILY"
Three
Major theses:
1.
many
minor losses prepare a person for a major loss
2.
the
greater the anticipatory grief the less the subsequent bereavement
3.
the
stages experienced by the family are very similar to those of the person
who is ill and believed to be near death although they may not be
synchronous with those stages. Most
family members will fall behind the loved one who is ill.
Fewer family members will reach “acceptance”
1.
minor
losses prepare a person for future upsets
2.
anticipatory
grief creates an atmosphere of adjustment to the impending loss
3.
family
needs support and care to move to acceptance
For
each family member there will come a “moment of truth” with the loved
one who is dying. The dying
person will read the “signs”.
Most
people who believe that they are dying fear the process of dying more than
the death. It is abandonment that is feared most.
13
Points to keep in Mind
1.
The Caretaker’s chief obligation is to Provide:
2.Relief
of the primary suffering (PAIN)
Relief of the secondary suffering- spiritual or
psychological
3.Reactions
of the family should be scrutinized-
4.High
risk cases should be identified and dealt with
5.Keep
the person who is ill in the decision making process for as long as
possible and arrange for a proxy
6.All
lines of communication should be kept open- this will show respect,
reinforce self-esteem, worth and value
7.Help
the person who is ill to achieve their final goals-finish their unfinished
“business”
8.A
diversified teams (hospice) should be used to support the family
9.Decisions
concerning the medical should NOT be left to the physician alone
10.Be
aware of the physician’s own fear of death
11.Be
prepared to deal with retrospective trauma- reactive depression
12.Be
aware of the importance of preparing funeral rituals
13.Creative
grief |